Course: Solution Talk: A Parent’s Guide to Effective Communication in Families

Solution Talk Pillar 3: Managing Emotions

Managing emotions during conversations is crucial for Solution Talk. While it’s common to enter a conversation with good intentions, it’s equally important to prevent emotions (such as frustration and anger) from overpowering you when you encounter disagreements or offensive remarks.

Below are strategies for managing your emotions during critical conversations:

1. Keep things calm: During challenging discussions, it’s essential for to remain calm by avoiding “thinking traps” such as envisioning the worst-case scenario. When feelings start to cloud focus on solutions, take a deep breath to regain composure. Additionally, it’s important to recognize when emotional buttons are being pushed. By doing so, you not only help yourself stay calm but also encourage your conversation partner to remain composed.
2. Take a break: Sometimes, the intense emotions become overwhelming, making it difficult to maintain perspective and respond appropriately. When this occurs, it’s beneficial to take a break from the conversation. Step away, take some time to collect yourself, and return to the discussion when you feel calmer and more composed. This break allows you to approach the issue with a clearer mind.

In a collaborative conversation, any party can call for a timeout either to allow time for themselves or when they notice the other party needs a timeout.

3. Timing matters: In some situations, it may be best to postpone initiating a conversation until all parties have a chance to cool down. For instance, if your teen arrives home late past curfew, acknowledge their lateness and calmly remind them about the consequences. If it’s too late in the night and fatigue might contribute to your frustration and impatience, it’s better to inform your teen that you were concerned and that the issue will be discussed first thing tomorrow.
4. Enlist a mediator: Consider inviting a neutral third party such as a counselor, trusted friend, or Trustyy certified coach to participate in your emotionally-charged conversations. The mediator can help monitor the discussion, ensure everyone gets a chance to speak and intervene if emotions start running high. Having a mediator keeps the focus on finding solutions. Most importantly, their presence encourages both parties to remain thoughtful, respectful, and constructive. With a mediator’s help, you’re more likely to have a productive dialogue where you truly listen and work to understand each other’s perspectives. Though it may feel awkward at first, a mediator can be invaluable for navigating complex family issues.

By implementing these strategies, you can improve your ability to manage emotions during conversations, leading to more productive and harmonious interactions with others. Remember, practicing effective emotional management is an ongoing process that requires patience and self-awareness.

Up Next

In the next module, we’ll review the fourth, and final pillar of Solution Talk – Combating Toxic Communication.