Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
Before you became a parent, could you have imagined the nature, range, and intensity of feelings you would experience in this role? Family photo collections recall joy, pride, excitement, fascination, love. On the other hand there are unpleasant feelings like frustration, anxiety, guilt, inadequacy, fear, and anger. Such a variety of emotional experience naturally comes with being a parent.
Learning to manage emotions is a lifelong process and is especially important in parenting. Problems occur when feelings overwhelm us or interfere with the role of reason. Consider these examples:
Elise and Joe set what they believed were appropriate rules and consequences for their daughter, Amber. One weekend Joe left town for a business trip. While he was gone Amber asked to do something that was against the rules. Elise held the boundary and Amber began to complain. She told her mom “This is ridiculous”, and “you are so stupid.” Amber didn’t stop there, but continued to push. Elise began to feel anxious and conflicted. She began to question herself on the decision she and her husband had made. Before long she went to her daughter and allowed her to have her way, thus giving in to the pressure.
Kim had a great connection with her daughter, Liz, during the early teen years. They would do everything together. As she grew older, Liz felt smothered by all of the attention that her mom was giving her and began to distance herself from her mother. Kim felt so rejected that she began to struggle with depression. After each argument with her daughter, she would shut herself in her room for the rest of the day, just lying on her bed in the dark.
A set of parents and grandparents who had joint custody of a teen were sitting together discussing possible consequences for Crystal who had broken a rule shortly after arriving home from her wilderness program. As they began to talk they became more anxious about what the behavior meant and what future problems might arise. Soon, they began to feed off each other’s anxiety and before long they had identified a severe consequence for a minor infraction, leaving Crystal feeling powerless to earn trust back.
Each of these stories has a common theme–the parent’s decisions and behavior were powerfully influenced by their emotions. As a result, their decisions unintentionally contributed to the problems they were having with their teen.
This module is an invitation to strengthen your ability to manage emotions, particularly as it relates to parenting. Managing your emotions includes the ability to recognize, respond to, and influence one’s own emotions.
One key is to understand the interplay between our thoughts, emotions, and behavior.
This diagram illustrates a simplified version of the process:
In this process, our thoughts play a pivotal role. These may be thoughts we do not even realize we have. They are often silently rehearsed in our minds, such as “I can’t believe what a lazy kid he is!” We may not even be aware of many of our thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations; yet they powerfully influence what we feel and do.
In each section of this module we’ll examine specific ways that our thoughts about ourselves and our children influence the feelings we have. We’ll observe how feelings in turn affect our behavior.
Self-mastery of our emotion is not easy but is well worth the effort. It will help you deal with the ups and downs of parenting, stay calm during difficult moments, and make better decisions.
To enhance your ability to manage your emotions, this module teaches how to:
Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what . . .” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.
Rafael has his degree in Marketing and Advertising and years of experience with our dev team. As a teen he could trust that “The most important thing in life is love, and the most valuable things are our family and friends.” When he isn’t working on making the website and mobile versions of Trustyy seamless and functional, he unwinds by exploring nature. His favorite activities are climbing mountains, camping, going to the beach, swimming, playing the harmonica and always learning new things.
Afton’s experience is in marketing and bookkeeping. As a teen she could trust that with her parents “Feeding the horses and milking the cow each day before school–not after–was a must.” When she isn’t busy with keeping Trustyy’s lights on, you’ll usually find her baking up a new treat or working on a sewing project.
Nicoli has a degree in Multimedia Production. She has worked with our team of developers for three years. She learned to trust her own parents when they taught her “Things won’t come easy and that working hard will bring me great blessings!” When she isn’t putting together beautiful marketing pieces for the Trustyy App she likes to take pictures, play the guitar, piano, and drums, and meet up with her family to laugh over the silly things they did as kids.
Adriano is certified in Analysis and Systems Development. In his family he could trust the fact that “One difficult experience teaches me that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.” When he is away from his work in making sure the Trustyy App buttons and bells and whistles are working properly, he likes to go to the gym, to the beach to surf, on walks with his dog, or go out with his girlfriend.
Lucas’s work experience is in User Experience, Interface Design and Product Management. As a teen he could trust that “In my home honesty was highly valued and lying was not tolerated.” When he isn’t at work making sure the Trustyy App is easy on the eyes, Lucas likes hiking, gaming, going out for dinner, and spending time with family.
Cadu has his education in Analysis and System Development. While growing up he could always trust that “My parents would be there to support from playing soccer at the park to learning to ride a bike.” When he isn’t making sure things are easily navigated for our Trustyy App users, he likes to play beach soccer and enjoy music of any type, but specifically rock, country, R&B, and pop.
Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back-end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what.” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.
Roxanne received her bachelor’s degree in history and secondary education. She has worked in publishing and marketing for the past 14 years. In her family Roxanne says she could trust that “Her grammar and posture would be consistently corrected, to help her to become a lady.” When she isn’t busy writing and beautifying things for the Trustyy App, you can find her reading biographies, practicing yoga, or gathering the family to talk business, celebrate wins or just plain hang out.
Sidney has a bachelor’s degree in Web Development and has worked in technology for 16 years, building apps for the last 10 years. Growing up he could trust that “It was always expected that I would fix anything related to technology.” When he isn’t managing the development of the Trustyy App, you will find him spending time with his wife and kids. He loves to make Brazillian BBQ with his family.
Jim has a degree in Design and over 25 years of experience creating SaaS products and managing talented product and development teams. In his years at home as the oldest of five he could trust that “Each child got a weekly ‘night-up’ where we got to stay up late with a parent and do anything we wanted with them.” When he isn’t looking 10 miles down the road for what will come next on the Trustyy App, you will find Jim canyoneering, doing photography, watercolor painting, or keeping up on the latest gadgets and technologies.
Eric earned his degree in Communications, Public Relations and Advertising, then added on an MBA. He says he could trust that “His parents were honest people who kept their commitments–especially to their kids.” When Eric isn’t keeping everyone at Trustyy on task, he is an outdoor enthusiast, year around, rain or shine, cold or hot, with biking in the summer and skiing in the winter.
Tim earned masters and doctoral degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy, and has 30 years of experience working with families. While growing up Tim says he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what, and that my dad would require that I respect my mother.” When he isn’t busy guiding the vision for the Trustyy App, you can find Tim working around the house and yard, taking care of his sheep, dogs and horses, or enjoying a game of Corn Hole with the family.
