Children thrive best in an environment where parents show respect for one another and model mature communication skills. It’s easy to focus on disagreements and logistics. But remembering you’re on the same team and nurturing the relationship for your children’s sake is critical.
It’s not always easy, and there will be bumps along the way. But with open communication, mutual respect, and the willingness to align and adapt, you can create a positive and nurturing environment for your child to thrive.
Remember, small wins matter. Even if it’s just a matter of noticing that communication has become less tense, or your child has responded positively to the consistency in rules, it’s worth celebrating. These small victories can boost your morale and motivate you to continue this co-parenting journey.
Tips for Nurturing your Relationship
Here are some additional tips for nurturing your co-parenting relationship and marking shared successes:
- Focus on Your Children: Keep your eyes on the prize – your kids’ wellbeing. When irritations arise, ask yourself “How does this serve my children?” Refocusing on their growth above all else provides perspective.
- Share Values: Have an open discussion about the values you share in raising kids – integrity, resilience, compassion, etc. Identifying common ground helps you present a united front.
- Swap Strengths: Talk about your respective strengths as parents. Maybe one excels at discipline and one at nurturing emotional intelligence. Share how you each contribute unique strengths to your kids’ lives.
- Share Appreciation: Expressing gratitude for each other’s efforts, time, and care for the kids can feel vulnerable. But it builds goodwill. Send appreciative texts when the other parent does something you admire.
- Share Information: Discuss parenting wins and trials on a regular basis – a child starting a new school, friend issues arising, etc. These debriefs keep you aligned and informed.
- Celebrate Milestones: Mark your child’s big and small milestones together like birthdays, first steps, learning to read, trying a new sport. Put differences aside to honor growth.
- Share the Load: Divide and conquer tasks like doctor appointments, extracurriculars, teacher meetings evenly. Having each other’s backs lightens the load.
- Laugh Together: Laughter heals. Share funny parenting mishaps that happen on your respective watch. Humor loosens tension and reminds you to enjoy the craziness.
Assignment:
We’ve prepared a set of check-in questions that we encourage you to answer for one month. These questions are designed to prompt reflection and discussion about your co-parenting journey. Trustyy makes it easy. Simply:
1. Create a new check-in and assign it to yourself to answer weekly.
Create Checkin
2. Add the following questions to your check-in:
- Did we have a meaningful conversation about our child this week?
- Before making decisions, did we consult each other and seek consensus?
- Did we manage our emotions effectively and communicate in a respectful manner?
- Were we consistent in implementing the rules and consequences we set for our child?
- Did we recognize and celebrate our child’s positive behavior and successes?
- How did we handle disagreements this week? What can we do better?
- Did we acknowledge each other’s efforts and contributions to our co-parenting?
These questions are not meant to be a test or a scorecard. They are tools to facilitate open communication, mutual respect, and understanding.
We recommend setting aside a quiet, uninterrupted time each week to discuss these questions.
Checklist