Course: Get Help With a Child’s Behavior Issue

Introduction

Any parent can relate to the never ending saga of repeating yourself over and over. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times!” Wouldn’t it be nice to eliminate the need for repeated lectures, constant reminders, and numerous “last warnings?”

Many families have found that establishing a set of general Family Rules helps to alleviate this problem. We highly recommend doing this if you haven’t already. Perhaps you have already set family rules that worked well for other children, or even worked well for this child in the past.

But what do you do if one child is repeatedly struggling to follow a particular rule? Or what if you find that you need to create a rule that only applies to one child?

Setting Special Expectations

If a child fails to follow the family rules or meet basic expectations in a particular area, sometimes it is helpful to establish individual “probationary” rules. In Trustyy, these are called Special Expectations.

Special Expectations are reserved for only the top three or four most serious issues that need to be addressed in order to help the teen become “unstuck” and to move forward.
Unlike family rules, special expectations:

• Are assigned only for the biggest issues the child is currently struggling with
• Are tailored to the needs of a specific child
• Are more detailed or strictly defined
• Have more serious or severe consequences
• Require more frequent progress check-ins
• Are only kept in place temporarily until behavior improves.

The purpose of special expectations is to help parents provide the special attention and boundaries needed to support the child until behavior improves.

Benefits of Special Expectations & Consequences

Here are some ways that setting special expectations and consequences helps your child:

• It teaches the connection between choice and accountability
• It provides a clear roadmap for how to build trust and thus earn increasing freedom and privileges
• It decreases frustration that results from unexpected rules and consequences

They also help you as a parent by:

• Freeing you from constantly having to think of consequences for inappropriate behavior
• Letting you identify consequences in advance that are natural, logical, and fair.
• Helping parents to be unified in how they discipline and reward their teen
• Minimizing parental reactivity and chances for conflict

What’s Next:

With a basic understanding of what Special Expectations are and how they are used, you are ready for Trustyy to walk you through doing each step!