Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
The younger children are, the easier it is for parents to organize family activities. As children get older they tend to favor spending time with friends over spending time with family. This is normal and expected. Still, despite what they say, teens like to do things with their families and it is important that they spend time with their families. The key is to be flexible and find the right activities for the right age group.
Activities do not need to be extravagant. They can vary in length from 15 minutes to hours. Some may be relatively involved and expensive (renting waverunners for an afternoon), while others may be simple and without cost (Monopoly). What you do is not as important as the fact that you are doing an activity together.
Being together in a pleasurable activity provides the chance for smiles, winks, laughter, and just side-by-side relaxing. Although boundaries and expectations are still there, in a good family activity they won’t feel like the focus – having fun will be the main point. Talents, skills, and even funny quirks come up that are different from what the family usually sees day-to-day. As a result, family members see each other in a new light which, in turn, can reduce tension.
Option #1
Option #2 (This option may be better for teens who may initially be resistant to the idea.)
See the section on Family Traditions for some other great ideas!
Teens like to tease and joke with parents, often to test the parent’s sense of humor. During family activities, it is best to play along and joke back with the teen. This isn’t the time to be controlling and rigid.
Don’t cancel activities based on your teen’s bad behavior. The activities don’t have to be earned, but are done to help the family enjoy and connect with each other.
Teens almost never want to cancel an activity with a friend to attend a spontaneously planned family activity. So set aside time for regular family activities, to help teens plan around them.
Get input from all family members on activities they would enjoy as a family. To minimize conflict and resistance try to make the family activities something all family members will at least tolerate if not enjoy.
Kids and teens are often more hurt by parents not following through on family plans than they will admit, so make the activities a priority. Your kids will recognize when you don’t follow through and may take that as justification to not follow through on their end.
Make family events a priority. If you tend to reschedule family events, your child will soon be arguing that if you can move a family event they should be able to as well, especially when an opportunity comes along to do something fun with a friend.
Be flexible. Not every activity will go as planned. If weather or a flat tire gets in the way, don’t get frustrated; have a few simple alternatives or reschedule.
Consider letting your teen or child plan and be in charge of the activity, or at least some aspect of it.
Mix it up: Do a father/daughter night, or a mother/son night, a girls’ night out, or ‘boys only’ event, etc. One on one time can send a clear message that you truly care about that child.
Schedule family activities in your family calendar to coordinate family schedules and to ensure everyone knows they are invited and/or expected to participate.
In a visible place, consider keeping a cork board or magnet board displaying pictures of family activities. This keeps memories alive and often casts family members in a fun light.
Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what . . .” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.
Rafael has his degree in Marketing and Advertising and years of experience with our dev team. As a teen he could trust that “The most important thing in life is love, and the most valuable things are our family and friends.” When he isn’t working on making the website and mobile versions of Trustyy seamless and functional, he unwinds by exploring nature. His favorite activities are climbing mountains, camping, going to the beach, swimming, playing the harmonica and always learning new things.
Afton’s experience is in marketing and bookkeeping. As a teen she could trust that with her parents “Feeding the horses and milking the cow each day before school–not after–was a must.” When she isn’t busy with keeping Trustyy’s lights on, you’ll usually find her baking up a new treat or working on a sewing project.
Nicoli has a degree in Multimedia Production. She has worked with our team of developers for three years. She learned to trust her own parents when they taught her “Things won’t come easy and that working hard will bring me great blessings!” When she isn’t putting together beautiful marketing pieces for the Trustyy App she likes to take pictures, play the guitar, piano, and drums, and meet up with her family to laugh over the silly things they did as kids.
Adriano is certified in Analysis and Systems Development. In his family he could trust the fact that “One difficult experience teaches me that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.” When he is away from his work in making sure the Trustyy App buttons and bells and whistles are working properly, he likes to go to the gym, to the beach to surf, on walks with his dog, or go out with his girlfriend.
Lucas’s work experience is in User Experience, Interface Design and Product Management. As a teen he could trust that “In my home honesty was highly valued and lying was not tolerated.” When he isn’t at work making sure the Trustyy App is easy on the eyes, Lucas likes hiking, gaming, going out for dinner, and spending time with family.
Cadu has his education in Analysis and System Development. While growing up he could always trust that “My parents would be there to support from playing soccer at the park to learning to ride a bike.” When he isn’t making sure things are easily navigated for our Trustyy App users, he likes to play beach soccer and enjoy music of any type, but specifically rock, country, R&B, and pop.
Michelle studied English and creative writing at the University of Utah and has a background in digital and print communication, with experience in content creation, editing, and marketing. She’s also a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, passionate about empowering others to grow in confidence, ability, and life skills. As the second of eight children and an identical twin, Michelle trusted in her family’s mantra: “There’s nothing we can’t do if we work together.” When she’s not supporting the team and Trustyy Families, Michelle enjoys reading self-help books, exploring the outdoors, watching classic movies, and listening to all kinds of music.
Roxanne received her bachelor’s degree in history and secondary education. She has worked in publishing and marketing for the past 14 years. In her family Roxanne says she could trust that “Her grammar and posture would be consistently corrected, to help her to become a lady.” When she isn’t busy writing and beautifying things for the Trustyy App, you can find her reading biographies, practicing yoga, or gathering the family to talk business, celebrate wins or just plain hang out.
Sidney has a bachelor’s degree in Web Development and has worked in technology for 16 years, building apps for the last 10 years. Growing up he could trust that “It was always expected that I would fix anything related to technology.” When he isn’t managing the development of the Trustyy App, you will find him spending time with his wife and kids. He loves to make Brazillian BBQ with his family.
Jim has a degree in Design and over 25 years of experience creating SaaS products and managing talented product and development teams. In his years at home as the oldest of five he could trust that “Each child got a weekly ‘night-up’ where we got to stay up late with a parent and do anything we wanted with them.” When he isn’t looking 10 miles down the road for what will come next on the Trustyy App, you will find Jim canyoneering, doing photography, watercolor painting, or keeping up on the latest gadgets and technologies.
Eric earned his degree in Communications, Public Relations and Advertising, then added on an MBA. He says he could trust that “His parents were honest people who kept their commitments–especially to their kids.” When Eric isn’t keeping everyone at Trustyy on task, he is an outdoor enthusiast, year around, rain or shine, cold or hot, with biking in the summer and skiing in the winter.
Tim earned masters and doctoral degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy, and has 30 years of experience working with families. While growing up Tim says he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what, and that my dad would require that I respect my mother.” When he isn’t busy guiding the vision for the Trustyy App, you can find Tim working around the house and yard, taking care of his sheep, dogs and horses, or enjoying a game of Corn Hole with the family.
