Where is My Lasagna: Trusting Enough to Give and Receive Service

Raising my family in a small New England town, I learned that the response to a physical crisis is to cook meals to provide for the family in need.

Lasagna is a favorite, as it is easy to make in big portions and freezes well. I pride myself, like my parents before me, at being self-sufficient. I acknowledge I have been fortunate in life, but there is a little piece of me that used to believe that you make your own luck. It was rare for me to ask for help. And then the universe taught me a lesson.

Our family became unlucky with two teens with significant behavioral health issues. As this struggle has become known, I’ve noticed some changes. We are not invited to many social events; receive fewer holiday cards; hear rumors at school that parents are afraid to have their children come over; and find that acquaintances avoid us in stores.

My own family members patiently listen to me, but often do not know what to say or have never heard of anything like what we are going through. Neighbors tell me that all teens are difficult or that it could be worse.

I found myself frustrated with the stigma of mental illness. If my kids had diabetes instead of anxiety, we would have sympathy, not exclusion. And our freezer would not be completely bare of lasagna.

And then the universe taught me another lesson. A neighbor died suddenly, leaving behind a loving family. Our neighborhood responded. Lasagnas were made and delivered. So much food was made, that the family sent the message out that their freezer was overflowing. I did not know what to do to try to help, so I decided to ask.

At first, there was no response. Then one family member asked me if I knew of any odd jobs around the neighborhood. My garden had become unkempt during our own crisis, so, hesitantly, I offered her a job. Much of the summer, she came to our yard, sat on the ground, listening to headphones, and weeded. We spoke little, but she told me she found the ground soothing and she appreciated having work.

It was not lasagna but it felt better—both that I had asked and that she had trusted me enough to share her answer.

These days, I do not worry much about the acquaintances who turn away. I realize that those that matter most, like me, often do not know what to do to help. I have started to get comfortable with asking. My mother helped me research treatment center options. My brother and his wife came to watch my younger children while my husband and I visited our teen in treatment. Many wonderful friends have walked miles with me—sometimes letting me vent, sometimes walking in silence. My friends from the gym donated money to a suicide prevention charity in my name. The list continues to grow. Empathy and support are out there after all, I just had to learn to ask.

And by the way, my freezer is now full, but not of lasagna. It turns out I prefer burgers and frozen yogurt.

– Samantha Jane

Samantha Jane lives with her co-parent and fabulously interesting children. She seeks magic moments and loves boxing. She is also the founder of a grassroots organization formed by parents, for families, providing information, support and connection.

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Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:

How Parents Can Put A Stop To Their Teen's Self Destructive Behaviors WITHOUT Conflict Or Walking On Eggshells

Mike Christian

Back-End Developer & DevOps​

Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what . . .” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.

Rafael Pampoch

Web Developer

Rafael has his degree in Marketing and Advertising and years of experience with our dev team. As a teen he could trust that “The most important thing in life is love, and the most valuable things are our family and friends.” When he isn’t working on making the website and mobile versions of Trustyy seamless and functional, he unwinds by exploring nature. His favorite activities are climbing mountains, camping, going to the beach, swimming, playing the harmonica and always learning new things.

Afton Wilde

Accounting

Afton’s experience is in marketing and bookkeeping.  As a teen she could trust that with her parents “Feeding the horses and milking the cow each day before school–not after–was a must.”  When she isn’t busy with keeping Trustyy’s lights on, you’ll usually find her baking up a new treat or working on a sewing project.

Nicoli Cristini

Marketing Assistant

Nicoli has a degree in Multimedia Production.  She has worked with our team of developers for three years.  She learned to trust her own parents when they taught her “Things won’t come easy and that working hard will bring me great blessings!”  When she isn’t putting together beautiful marketing pieces for the Trustyy App she likes to take pictures, play the guitar, piano, and drums, and meet up with her family to laugh over the silly things they did as kids.

Adriano Rodrigues

Mobile Developer

Adriano is certified in Analysis and Systems Development.  In his family he could trust the fact that “One difficult experience teaches me that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.”  When he is away from his work in making sure the Trustyy App buttons and bells and whistles are working properly, he likes to go to the gym, to the beach to surf, on walks with his dog, or go out with his girlfriend.

Lucas Baumgart

Product Designer

Lucas’s work experience is in User Experience, Interface Design and Product Management. As a teen he could trust that “In my home honesty was highly valued and lying was not tolerated.”  When he isn’t at work making sure the Trustyy App is easy on the eyes, Lucas likes hiking, gaming, going out for dinner, and spending time with family.

Cadu Olivera

Front End Developer

Cadu has his education in Analysis and System Development.  While growing up he could always trust that “My parents would be there to support from playing soccer at the park to learning to ride a bike.”   When he isn’t making sure things are easily navigated for our Trustyy App users, he likes to play beach soccer and enjoy music of any type, but specifically rock, country, R&B, and pop.

Mike Curi

Back End Developer

Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back-end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what.” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team. 

Roxanne Thayne

Co-Founder/Chief Marketing Officer

Roxanne received her bachelor’s degree in history and secondary education.  She has worked in publishing and marketing for the past 14 years.  In her family Roxanne says she could trust that “Her grammar and posture would be consistently corrected, to help her to become a lady.”  When she isn’t busy writing and beautifying things for the Trustyy App, you can find her reading biographies, practicing yoga, or gathering the family to talk business, celebrate wins or just plain hang out.

Sidney Rodrigues

Co-Founder/Chief Technology Officer

Sidney has a bachelor’s degree in Web Development and has worked in technology for 16 years, building apps for the last 10 years. Growing up he could trust that “It was always expected that I would fix anything related to technology.”  When he isn’t managing the development of the Trustyy App, you will find him spending time with his wife and kids. He loves to make Brazillian BBQ with his family.

Jim Lee

Co-Founder/Chief Product Officer

Jim has a degree in Design and over 25 years of experience creating SaaS products and managing talented product and development teams.  In his years at home as the oldest of five he could trust that “Each child got a weekly ‘night-up’ where we got to stay up late with a parent and do anything we wanted with them.”  When he isn’t looking 10 miles down the road for what will come next on the Trustyy App, you will find Jim canyoneering, doing photography, watercolor painting, or keeping up on the latest gadgets and technologies.

Eric Turner

Co-Founder/Chief Operations Officer

Eric earned his degree in Communications, Public Relations and Advertising, then added on an MBA.  He says he could trust that “His parents were honest people who kept their commitments–especially to their kids.”  When Eric isn’t keeping everyone at Trustyy on task, he is an outdoor enthusiast, year around, rain or shine, cold or hot, with biking in the summer and skiing in the winter.

Tim Thayne

Founder | Chief Executive Officer

Tim earned masters and doctoral degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy, and has 30 years of experience working with families.  While growing up Tim says he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what, and that my dad would require that I respect my mother.”  When he isn’t busy guiding the vision for the Trustyy App, you can find Tim working around the house and yard, taking care of his sheep, dogs and horses, or enjoying a game of Corn Hole with the family.