This book gets into very specific details and processes, and I appreciated that. It also made me feel hopeful that after all of the struggle and pain, I had another chance to try again, and this time be prepared and ready. I just needed a good plan, and a little direction in my overwhelmed state.

This is straight forward and to the point. I highlighted the parts that fit my situation and will reread this book again. I highly recommend this book for the parents like me who have struggled with a teenager.

Such a thoughtful book, it's almost as if the author hasn't just been a mental health professional, but as if he deeply understands the pain and struggles from the parent perspective. I cannot imagine why every treatment facility wouldn't require this when one drops off one's child!

From a mom whose daughter went through three facilities -- acute and long-term -- in a period of four years, admitted six times due to extreme PTSD, high suicidality, and drug/substance abuse...this book got me started working right away on the skills while she's still presently (to date) in treatment . . . This book basically told me to be honest, firm (with love), consistent and most of all, CONFIDENT. She is in a much better place thanks to the advice Dr. Thayne gave in this book.

I wish Tim Thayne's "Not by Chance" had been available when we realized three years ago that we were not going to be able to keep our daughter alive despite all of the support and therapy we could provide. It would have been an independent reassurance that we were doing the right thing, that the programs we had picked were doing a good job, of why and how we all needed to change, and of what to expect when she eventually came home. I have written all of the caregivers we have used to recommend that they include this in their parent reading lists.

Not by Chance gave us hope and direction when we felt like we had none. Our family was falling to pieces because of the sadness that our son was struggling and in a therapeutic wilderness program. We felt alone and scared but all of the information in Dr. Thayne's book gave us the support we needed. Just by reading the book, we realized we are not alone and that there are answers and practical things we can do as parents to guide, love and nurture our children and not be so hard on ourselves in the process.