Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
Sunday afternoons are quiet around here. Once church and lunch are over you can be sure that most of the household will be napping. On one such afternoon, my husband and two youngest daughters were asleep when my oldest son, Nick* showed up. Though he had lived on his own for several years, he always made time to visit when the whole family gathered for Sunday dinner. He leaned over to hug me where I was curled up on the loveseat reading.
After chatting quietly for several minutes, I felt a sudden impulse to ask Nick if he’d attended church. He was dressed in Sunday best, so the answer seemed obvious, but when I asked the question, he paused for a moment, then replied, “No…I’m not sure I believe any more.” A hot, sick feeling washed over me, though I tried not to show it outwardly. For a woman whose life revolves around religion and family, nothing could have hurt more than to hear that my child was questioning a lifetime of spiritual teachings.
A long and painful conversation followed, with me occasionally whispering questions—struggling not to weep openly—and Nick gradually spilling out feelings that had weighed on him for years. He hadn’t wanted to rock the boat in our religious family, so he’d held his skepticism inside. He’d been worried about our response, fearful that he wouldn’t fit in with the family if he turned aside from our beliefs—that everything would change.
Eventually we heard faint stirrings of life in the house as people roused from their naps, so Nick and I ended our life-shifting conversation. As we stood, he wrapped me in a tight hug, squeezing me for a long, emotional moment. It was then that I felt him tremble, and realized how much it had cost him to open his heart so completely and risk weakening his connection to the family. In that moment I understood that anything we could do to preserve our relationship with this precious son and brother would be worth the effort. With a lump in my throat, I assured Nick that our love was not dependent on everyone believing the same way.
I won’t pretend that I wasn’t devastated. As the rest of the family gathered for dinner, I pasted on a shaky half-smile and finished the food preparations, but my appetite was gone. I slipped away during the meal to release the tears I could no longer hold in, grieving Nick’s spiritual shift. It’s painful to think about even now, for I sense that something powerful is missing from his life. But in the years since that heart-wrenching afternoon, I need only recall Nick’s intense, trembling hug, and I’m more convinced than ever that maintaining family unity is far more important than fretting about our differences.
*Name changed for privacy
– Anonymous
The author is faith and family centered. She finds great pleasure in interacting with wildlife—but not bugs—and observing the change of the seasons.
Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what . . .” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.
Rafael has his degree in Marketing and Advertising and years of experience with our dev team. As a teen he could trust that “The most important thing in life is love, and the most valuable things are our family and friends.” When he isn’t working on making the website and mobile versions of Trustyy seamless and functional, he unwinds by exploring nature. His favorite activities are climbing mountains, camping, going to the beach, swimming, playing the harmonica and always learning new things.
Afton’s experience is in marketing and bookkeeping. As a teen she could trust that with her parents “Feeding the horses and milking the cow each day before school–not after–was a must.” When she isn’t busy with keeping Trustyy’s lights on, you’ll usually find her baking up a new treat or working on a sewing project.
Nicoli has a degree in Multimedia Production. She has worked with our team of developers for three years. She learned to trust her own parents when they taught her “Things won’t come easy and that working hard will bring me great blessings!” When she isn’t putting together beautiful marketing pieces for the Trustyy App she likes to take pictures, play the guitar, piano, and drums, and meet up with her family to laugh over the silly things they did as kids.
Adriano is certified in Analysis and Systems Development. In his family he could trust the fact that “One difficult experience teaches me that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.” When he is away from his work in making sure the Trustyy App buttons and bells and whistles are working properly, he likes to go to the gym, to the beach to surf, on walks with his dog, or go out with his girlfriend.
Lucas’s work experience is in User Experience, Interface Design and Product Management. As a teen he could trust that “In my home honesty was highly valued and lying was not tolerated.” When he isn’t at work making sure the Trustyy App is easy on the eyes, Lucas likes hiking, gaming, going out for dinner, and spending time with family.
Cadu has his education in Analysis and System Development. While growing up he could always trust that “My parents would be there to support from playing soccer at the park to learning to ride a bike.” When he isn’t making sure things are easily navigated for our Trustyy App users, he likes to play beach soccer and enjoy music of any type, but specifically rock, country, R&B, and pop.
Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back-end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what.” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.
Roxanne received her bachelor’s degree in history and secondary education. She has worked in publishing and marketing for the past 14 years. In her family Roxanne says she could trust that “Her grammar and posture would be consistently corrected, to help her to become a lady.” When she isn’t busy writing and beautifying things for the Trustyy App, you can find her reading biographies, practicing yoga, or gathering the family to talk business, celebrate wins or just plain hang out.
Sidney has a bachelor’s degree in Web Development and has worked in technology for 16 years, building apps for the last 10 years. Growing up he could trust that “It was always expected that I would fix anything related to technology.” When he isn’t managing the development of the Trustyy App, you will find him spending time with his wife and kids. He loves to make Brazillian BBQ with his family.
Jim has a degree in Design and over 25 years of experience creating SaaS products and managing talented product and development teams. In his years at home as the oldest of five he could trust that “Each child got a weekly ‘night-up’ where we got to stay up late with a parent and do anything we wanted with them.” When he isn’t looking 10 miles down the road for what will come next on the Trustyy App, you will find Jim canyoneering, doing photography, watercolor painting, or keeping up on the latest gadgets and technologies.
Eric earned his degree in Communications, Public Relations and Advertising, then added on an MBA. He says he could trust that “His parents were honest people who kept their commitments–especially to their kids.” When Eric isn’t keeping everyone at Trustyy on task, he is an outdoor enthusiast, year around, rain or shine, cold or hot, with biking in the summer and skiing in the winter.
Tim earned masters and doctoral degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy, and has 30 years of experience working with families. While growing up Tim says he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what, and that my dad would require that I respect my mother.” When he isn’t busy guiding the vision for the Trustyy App, you can find Tim working around the house and yard, taking care of his sheep, dogs and horses, or enjoying a game of Corn Hole with the family.
