Ours is an age of contradictions. Where solitude used to feel like a rare luxury . . . it has recently begun to feel lonely.
With months of forced separation, hugs, handshakes and even bright smiles feel like a thing of the past. I so long for the days when I could let my personality and natural tendencies to touch communicate my acceptance or love for someone.
Today when I think back on meaningful touches from others, I realize that though none of these folks were professionally trained in the healing arts, I found that our physical connection had a way of seeping into my body in deep and satisfying ways.
They were the givers and I was the grateful receiver. This collection of moments is simple, yet the contact was punctuated by the emotional impression they left behind.
COMPANIONSHIP: There is a comfort and warmth found with a puppy’s head resting on my thigh, even as I’m forced to type with my laptop balanced on the other thigh. I sit contentedly in this awkward workspace—long past the time I was productive—because we’ve created a mutual sense of protection and belonging.
TRUST: As a mother, the reach of my fussing baby, who would immediately calm and relax into my arms, was considered a bonus for those bleary-eyed late nights. With their head on my shoulder and a slight bounce in my walk, my touch turned out to be the prescribed remedy for nightmares, separation anxiety, and countless other ills.
ENCOURAGEMENT: While sitting in church, whether I am touched by a thought or overwhelmed with my life, I will regularly feel a tap on my shoulder and see a clean, white tissue being passed up to me to catch my brimming tears. This generous friend is quick to see a need and fill it. From the pew behind, I have been quietly handed cough drops, gum, and even Wifi passwords.
HEALING: As a teenager, when I’d return from another interminable swing shift of waiting tables at the coffee shop, I’d count up my tips as my father would watch the news and rub my aching feet. That act of service both loosened the tired muscles and conveyed his appreciation for my hard work and progress into adulthood.
ATTRACTION: I was still unsure of where our regular dates were taking us, but during a slow song at the university’s homecoming dance, I held my breath as my cheek came in contact with his cheek. Neither of us pulled away. That moment was electric and has never been forgotten. It sparked a romance of 30 years and counting.
RELAXATION: After the eight-hour road trip to Grandma’s house, we kids would tumble out of the car door fighting and bursting with pent-up energy. The most anticipated moment of our visit was bedtime, when we’d stretch out on the trundle bed and—in the dim glow of Grandpa’s desk lamp—Grandma would speak in whispers and gently rub the kinks out of our bare backs. We loved her scratchy- smooth hands, dry as sandpaper from years of dedicated work in her garden and kitchen.
ACCEPTANCE: Handshakes may seem rather obligatory, but historically and in my own experience, this familiar gesture is a universal signal of acknowledgement and approval. The act of bridging the physical span between us has repeatedly warmed me up in meeting someone that I initially felt intimidated or put off by. A firm clasp of my hand helps my subconscious respond with “Well now . . . they aren’t so bad after all.”
CELEBRATION: To celebrate good news alone isn’t satisfying. The first time I had an article published in a magazine I had to share it or I felt I would burst. With a flushed face, I interrupted an important call my husband was on. And bless him, he didn’t disappoint. He gave me a loud whoop and a double high five. A thumbs up or word of congratulation just wouldn’t have packed the same punch.
UNDERSTANDING: You know those moments when something is said, and the person seated next to you presses their knee or elbow into yours? It’s a physical connection that can be translated into “I know what you’re thinking.” Or perhaps “Can you believe it?” A touch is worth a thousand words when you can’t say anything out loud.
WELCOME: Remember the last time you went for a handshake, but were instead pulled into an enthusiastic embrace? It can be startling at first, but another’s delight can be so fun. Whether it’s on a first meeting or it’s been a long day since you’ve come face-to-face, a hug physically says “You’re home.”
COMFORT: Sitting beside my mother’s hospital bed two days before she passed, she expressed that she didn’t want to leave us. I reassured her that we would be fine. She began to cry, and then I simply lost it. I buried my head into her side and cried big hot tears. With the little strength she had left, she lifted her hand and gently brushed my hair back from my face. It was the most familiar and comforting gesture this fifty-year-old daughter could have asked for in a farewell touch from her mother.
– Roxanne Thayne
Known as a bright-idea-factory, Roxanne sparkles when she connects with others over mothering, ministering, and marketing. Learn more about how she helps readers design beautiful, faith-filled lives on Instagram @roxannethayne.