Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
I had the pleasure of counseling a bright teen, long enough to see her grow into a confident and compassionate young adult. Through the years, we’ve spoken daily during difficult times, and had phases when contact has stretched to once a month or more.
On each call, this young woman would bring her intelligent and reflective demeanor to the table. I always enjoyed speaking with her. However, each time she called, I knew it meant that she was in pain—struggling to cope with life’s disappointments and heartaches, or struggling with her anxiety and depression.
One afternoon when my phone rang and I saw her number pop up on my screen, I felt a pang of worry. Primarily because it was not the typical time of day that she would call me and I wondered if this meant she’d hit a particularly difficult snag. When I answered, I was surprised by how upbeat she sounded. “I was thinking about something today,” she told me. “I realized I only ever call you with bad news or when I’m sad. So today I thought I’d call to let you know I was accepted into a production I tried out for and I’m really excited about it. I’m feeling really happy right now and I wanted to tell you that.”
Once I processed what she was saying, I almost laughed out loud at the unexpectedness of it. It was interesting how hearing that bit of good news affected me, and how grateful I was that she thought to share it with me.
It’s easy for all of us to dwell in the realm of problem-solving. In our personal and work lives, sometimes the easiest thing to do is find a problem to focus on or a problem to fix. There are times when that focus can overtake our perception and minimize the successful moments we experience, missing what they mean to our overall progress.
Some have told me they worry that sharing good news will come across as bragging. Some worry that sharing hope and success will make people extra disappointed the next time there is a challenge, relapse, or mistake. Some have even told me they don’t want to give others, or themselves, what they see as “false hope” that everything is or will be okay, because of one moment of positivity.
They worry about being naive or about being too optimistic. And admittedly, these are thinking traps I have fallen into myself.
In reality, it is essential that we communicate the positive moments in our lives as much as we do the negative. How do we see each other as people, fulfill our potential, or connect in a genuine fashion when we are only sharing selective parts of ourselves?
These positive moments connect us, pull us together, and sustain us through challenges. To celebrate and recognize them is an essential part of our growth, and vital to our relationships.
There is nothing wrong with identifying low points and difficulties, nor in seeking support in times of challenge. However, it is when we choose to broaden what we share and include our successes that we see our world more honestly.
During my conversation with this young woman, we both knew that there would still be sad and difficult times to navigate in the future—that’s part of life—but we also knew there would be continued growth, maturity, and joy as well. The gratitude I felt that she could share both her pain and her success with me deepened the trust between us.
Trusting someone with our success or hope then becomes as important as trusting them with a problem or challenge. It invites us all to see more of what we might otherwise miss out on in our shared journeys.
Turns out, a little good news can carry us a long way.
Kelly is a Social Worker and Transition Coach specializing in family systems and education. She has worked with families in various capacities before, during, and after their treatment experience for over 20 years. She’s an avid reader and loves the backcountry.
Dr. Tim Thayne Presents:
Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what . . .” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.
Rafael has his degree in Marketing and Advertising and years of experience with our dev team. As a teen he could trust that “The most important thing in life is love, and the most valuable things are our family and friends.” When he isn’t working on making the website and mobile versions of Trustyy seamless and functional, he unwinds by exploring nature. His favorite activities are climbing mountains, camping, going to the beach, swimming, playing the harmonica and always learning new things.
Afton’s experience is in marketing and bookkeeping. As a teen she could trust that with her parents “Feeding the horses and milking the cow each day before school–not after–was a must.” When she isn’t busy with keeping Trustyy’s lights on, you’ll usually find her baking up a new treat or working on a sewing project.
Nicoli has a degree in Multimedia Production. She has worked with our team of developers for three years. She learned to trust her own parents when they taught her “Things won’t come easy and that working hard will bring me great blessings!” When she isn’t putting together beautiful marketing pieces for the Trustyy App she likes to take pictures, play the guitar, piano, and drums, and meet up with her family to laugh over the silly things they did as kids.
Adriano is certified in Analysis and Systems Development. In his family he could trust the fact that “One difficult experience teaches me that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning.” When he is away from his work in making sure the Trustyy App buttons and bells and whistles are working properly, he likes to go to the gym, to the beach to surf, on walks with his dog, or go out with his girlfriend.
Lucas’s work experience is in User Experience, Interface Design and Product Management. As a teen he could trust that “In my home honesty was highly valued and lying was not tolerated.” When he isn’t at work making sure the Trustyy App is easy on the eyes, Lucas likes hiking, gaming, going out for dinner, and spending time with family.
Cadu has his education in Analysis and System Development. While growing up he could always trust that “My parents would be there to support from playing soccer at the park to learning to ride a bike.” When he isn’t making sure things are easily navigated for our Trustyy App users, he likes to play beach soccer and enjoy music of any type, but specifically rock, country, R&B, and pop.
Mike is one of those brilliant, self-taught, back-end developers that you always hear about. As a youth he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what.” When he isn’t cranking out new code, Mike keeps up on the newest technologies and every Tuesday and Thursday nights he trains SpeedSoft with his team.
Roxanne received her bachelor’s degree in history and secondary education. She has worked in publishing and marketing for the past 14 years. In her family Roxanne says she could trust that “Her grammar and posture would be consistently corrected, to help her to become a lady.” When she isn’t busy writing and beautifying things for the Trustyy App, you can find her reading biographies, practicing yoga, or gathering the family to talk business, celebrate wins or just plain hang out.
Sidney has a bachelor’s degree in Web Development and has worked in technology for 16 years, building apps for the last 10 years. Growing up he could trust that “It was always expected that I would fix anything related to technology.” When he isn’t managing the development of the Trustyy App, you will find him spending time with his wife and kids. He loves to make Brazillian BBQ with his family.
Jim has a degree in Design and over 25 years of experience creating SaaS products and managing talented product and development teams. In his years at home as the oldest of five he could trust that “Each child got a weekly ‘night-up’ where we got to stay up late with a parent and do anything we wanted with them.” When he isn’t looking 10 miles down the road for what will come next on the Trustyy App, you will find Jim canyoneering, doing photography, watercolor painting, or keeping up on the latest gadgets and technologies.
Eric earned his degree in Communications, Public Relations and Advertising, then added on an MBA. He says he could trust that “His parents were honest people who kept their commitments–especially to their kids.” When Eric isn’t keeping everyone at Trustyy on task, he is an outdoor enthusiast, year around, rain or shine, cold or hot, with biking in the summer and skiing in the winter.
Tim earned masters and doctoral degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy, and has 30 years of experience working with families. While growing up Tim says he could trust that “My mother would love me no matter what, and that my dad would require that I respect my mother.” When he isn’t busy guiding the vision for the Trustyy App, you can find Tim working around the house and yard, taking care of his sheep, dogs and horses, or enjoying a game of Corn Hole with the family.
