Service sometimes gets a bad rap. It’s what we get assigned to do when we miss a class or if we get in trouble. At times it is used as a punishment instead of an opportunity.
Unfortunately, because of this, many miss the joy of meaningful service. Through service we discover unique things about ourselves and frequently, it’s our own life that is changed rather than the intended service recipient.
The reciprocity of service is a unique side effect, one with powerful healing qualities. Families who serve together discover that they receive more than they give. Family members who are feeling inadequate or are struggling often find a renewed sense of purpose. They discover value they didn’t know they had. Many times lessons that parents are trying to teach their kids are naturally taught through experience as they serve alongside each other.
For several years, my family has helped in food preparation for a cancer camp for kids and teens learning to do adaptive skiing. Each year we provide breakfast and dinner for the camp, keeping costs minimal for them and allowing the camp to bring in more participants for the week. Many of these kids have had arms or legs amputated because of cancer or cancer treatments. Some have lost vision or hearing and need adaptive ski instruction and equipment to learn to ski. Many come from inner city Chicago and because of the changes that have taken place in their lives, their self-esteem and confidence are low.
When you lose an arm or leg, it is easy to feel your life is over. Each year my kids learn valuable lessons serving here without us saying a word. They watch the kids arrive and see the challenges cancer can inflict on bodies. As the week progresses, these individuals who have lost hope in playing the sports they love, find ways to be athletic again through the guidance of adaptive ski instructors.
One particular year a fifteen-year-old girl shared her story of losing her leg and how she thought her life was over. She had resigned herself to an inactive life and felt lost without her leg. However, after several years of attending the camp, she developed courage she did not know she had and with some adaptations, she found she could enjoy sports again.
During the closing banquet that year, she shared an experience she had with a small group of skiers determined to hike to a beautiful bowl of undisturbed powder. They had hiked for several hours which included taking her prosthetic leg off, carrying her skis and poles on her back and with crutches ambling slowly up the slope. When they got to the top, the conditions could not have been more ideal. After all the work and effort to get there, they were rewarded with a beautiful afternoon of skiing. She was teary as she shared this experience of progress and strength. She had never guessed that when cancer struck and she had lost her leg that she would one day summit and ski a beautiful mountain in Utah.
The next year we returned as a family to serve. We were heartbroken as we did not see this particular camper. Usually, we do not ask much because we know that sometimes cancer is terminal and life is fragile. However, at the closing banquet, we learned that another group had gone to the mountain summit to find the beautiful bowl again, but this time the purpose was different. Some of the camp counselors had been given the ashes of this particular girl. As per her and her parents request, she had asked that when she died that her ashes be spread across that bowl. She said it “was the last place she felt on top of the world” and it was the perfect resting place for her body.
The lessons that my kids learned from this experience were not given through words but powerful interactions. At times, each of my family members have struggled with feelings of self-worth and inadequacy. As parents, we have discovered an amazing tool: Service fills holes in the lives of the receiver and the giver.
The reciprocity of service is a beautiful gift that heals hearts and allows sermons to be taught that penetrate the soul.
– Amy Dott Harmer
Amy Dott Harmer serves currently as the executive director of a refugee service organization. Amy and her husband have four amazing children. She is an avid mountain biker and hiker and enjoys spending time in the Wasatch Mountains. You can follow Amy on Instagram and Facebook or for ways to serve refugees go to Serve Refugees on Facebook and Instagram.