Resilience Runs in This Family: The Powerful Hope-Filled Way to Help Teens Draw Strength from Heroes
Sometimes the most important message your teen needs isn’t another lecture.
It’s a whisper:
“You’ve got what it takes. You can do hard things. It’s already in you.”
In Episode 11 of the Not By Chance Podcast, Dr. Tim Thayne and Roxanne Thayne explore why resilience runs in this family—and how parents can intentionally use stories of pioneers, heroes, and role models to build teen identity, courage, and confidence.
This episode is especially powerful for families in a hard season, because it gives you a simple tool you can start today:
Use the power of story to help your teen borrow strength until they can feel their own.
Why “Resilience Runs in This Family” Is More Than a Nice Quote
Roxanne explains why this topic carries emotion for her: her parents are gone, her dad was a historian, and she has personally experienced how stories can change the way we see ourselves.
And then she makes a key point that applies to every family:
Even if you don’t have pioneer ancestry… you still have pioneers.
Because “pioneers” can mean:
- ancestors who survived hardship
- grandparents who built a life from nothing
- parents who broke cycles
- heroes in history
- mentors, teachers, leaders
- even role models your teen respects today
The goal is not perfect family history.
The goal is building a family narrative where resilience runs in this family.
Why Stories Work: Identity Is Built Through What We Identify With
Dr. Thayne makes a key connection:
When teens can identify with strength in another person, that strength becomes more believable in themselves.
And that matters because many parents struggle with this:
- we compliment our kids
- we encourage them
- but it “rolls off their back”
This episode offers another pathway:
Let your teen borrow strength from someone they admire—until it becomes part of their identity.
That’s the heart of resilience runs in this family.
3 Practical Steps to Teach Resilience Through Stories
The episode gives parents three clear, practical actions. Here they are, translated into a simple plan you can use immediately.
1) Tell Family Stories Often (And With Emotion)
The first instruction is simple:
Tell family stories often—and tell them with emotion.
Not only at funerals.
Not only at reunions.
Not only in “formal” settings.
Roxanne describes how stories can be shared casually:
- in the car
- at dinner
- before school
- when your teen is discouraged
- when something reminds you of a past experience
A quick example from the episode
Dr. Thayne shares a story of an ancestor who built a sawmill, then later learned others found gold where the mill once stood. His response:
“They’re welcome to it. I’m a sawmill man.”
That quote became a resilience lesson:
- grace in disappointment
- security in identity
- strength without bitterness
And that’s exactly why resilience runs in this family works: stories give teens language for hard moments.
2) Create a Legacy Board (Or Digital Timeline)
The second action is about making stories visible:
Create a photo wall, legacy board, or digital timeline.
Roxanne describes creating a “photo wall” at home with frames and family pictures—and how just looking at it reminds her of a blessed life and the people who paved the way.
They also encourage involving teens directly:
- build something in Canva
- create a Google Slides presentation
- research on FamilySearch (or similar tools)
- tell the story of a relative, or even a historical hero
This works because it turns resilience into something tangible.
It becomes part of the home environment—part of the culture—so resilience runs in this family isn’t just a phrase, it’s a lived value.
3) Invite Your Teen to Be a Pioneer Themselves
The third step is the most empowering:
Invite teens to be pioneers themselves.
Because teens may hear stories of 60-year-olds and think:
“I’ll never be like that.”
So the episode encourages parents to connect the dots from today:
- “You’re naturally good with children—your influence is a strength.”
- “You’re resourceful with technology—that’s pioneer thinking.”
- “You push through hard physical things—that’s resilience.”
Then link that to a story:
“You remind me of your grandpa…”
“Your courage looks like…”
“This runs in our family.”
That’s how the belief becomes real—and why resilience runs in this family lands.
A Simple High-Impact Tactic: Text a Photo + One Sentence
One of the easiest tactics shared:
Take a picture of a photo in an album or on the wall…
…and text it to your teen with one simple message like:
- “This reminded me of you.”
- “He did hard things. You can too.”
- “You’re more capable than you feel right now.”
This is low effort, high impact—and it reinforces that resilience runs in this family without feeling like a lecture.
Role Models Matter (And Sometimes Work Better Than Parents)
A key insight is that teens sometimes receive stories better when they come from someone other than mom or dad.
Dr. Thayne describes how it can be easier for teens to admire:
- grandparents
- historical figures
- mentors
- heroes outside the home
Roxanne shares examples like Churchill, and also a personal connection to a Holocaust survivor whose resilience shaped their family values.
This point matters because it helps parents avoid a trap:
Trying to “convince” your teen with your own words…
when a story about a respected role model might land instantly.
Why This Helps Mental Health (Without Minimizing Pain)
The episode is careful not to dismiss what teens are experiencing today:
- depression
- anxiety
- bullying
- overwhelm
Parents can’t remove all of it.
But they can do something powerful:
Be consistent in belief.
And stories help carry belief when a teen can’t feel it.
That’s why resilience runs in this family is not about pretending things are easy.
It’s about building a stable identity that can survive hard things.
The Closing Message: “Think of the Pioneers”
Dr. Thayne shares a family mantra:
“Think of the pioneers.”
Not as pressure or guilt—
but as a reminder:
- hard things are survivable
- effort is meaningful
- and you’re not the first person to struggle
It’s a way of saying:
“You’re capable. You come from capable people. And you can do this.”
That’s the essence of resilience runs in this family.
Key Takeaways (Quick Summary)
- Resilience runs in this family becomes real when stories are told consistently
- Stories build identity through identification
- Tell stories often, casually, and with emotion
- Create a legacy board or photo wall to make resilience visible
- Text photos + short messages for quick encouragement
- Role models outside parents can land powerfully
- Invite teens to be pioneers now, not “someday”
- Hard seasons can become the foundation for future strength
FAQ
How do you teach teens resilience?
Teach resilience by building identity: share stories of pioneers, heroes, and role models, connect those strengths to your teen, and reinforce small examples of courage in everyday life.
Why do family stories help teen confidence?
Because stories give teens a sense of identity and belonging. When teens identify with resilience in others, it becomes easier to believe resilience exists in them too.
What if we don’t know our family history?
You can use role models outside your ancestry—mentors, community leaders, historical figures, or personal heroes. The goal is the same: resilience runs in this family through shared values and stories.
