“As we get stronger, our family gets stronger.” In today’s episode, Dr. Thayne introduces listeners to Casie Fariello, the CEO of “Other Parents Like Me,” a virtual membership platform that went live in January of 2022. Casie retired from United Airlines after 26 years in December of 2022 to follow her passion to co-found the program after creating parent support groups at Balance Continuum of Care in Arizona in 2020 and is a Parent Coach and Facilitator for The Partnership to End Addiction.
In this episode of the Not By Chance Podcast, they discuss the fact that parents all deal with similar issues around good communication, setting boundaries, self-care and self-regulation. While it’s easy to judge or compare your situation to others, it’s imperative to find common ground with others through a journey of curiosity, change and discovery.
In this blog post, we delve into an inspiring podcast episode featuring Dr. Tim Thayne and Education specialist , as we explore invaluable insights on how parents can cultivate a profound passion for lifelong learning in their children.
Komorowski has been an education professional for 16 years and specializes in helping parents build their kids’ confidence when it comes to school, which ultimately sets them up for success into adulthood. Kelsey has spent her career as a traditional tutor, a residential tutor for ultra high net-worth families, a student success analyst with the government, and now an advocate for students who struggle in the classroom and need help. She and her team made it a priority to find out the root cause of why students stress and struggle so much, and they have found that if a student doesn’t have the skills to manage and engage in their work, they won’t learn how to achieve their highest potential.
While schooling is only a short part of an individual’s life, learning lasts forever—and experiencing the joy of learning is an important part of life. Aside from that, finding success in academics can encourage students to develop better habits into adulthood. As parents, it’s our responsibility to help our kids develop these five skills to encourage learning in the home environment.
Here are the skills kids need to have and tips on helping develop them:
Critical Thinking
As a parent, you can help your child develop critical thinking skills by encouraging them to ask questions and think about the answers. When reading stories together, stop and ask your child questions about what is happening and why the characters are doing what they are doing. For older children, encourage them to read books that will make them think about different points of view and how to see both sides of an issue. You can also help your child develop critical thinking skills by teaching them how to research and find reliable sources of information.
It’s also important to discuss topics with your children that encourage critical thinking skills. Having stimulating, important discussions with your kids can not only instill the importance of critical thinking, but it can lead to valuable family time you will cherish forever.
You can also encourage your child to come up with solutions to problems they encounter in their daily lives. As they get older, you can challenge them to explain the reasoning behind their opinions and decisions. Helping your child to develop strong critical thinking skills will benefit them throughout their academic career and beyond.
Communication
Parents can help their children develop communication skills by modeling clear and effective communication themselves. When talking with your child, be sure to use words that they will understand and be patient if they need clarification. As your child grows, continue to encourage open communication by asking them about their day, their thoughts on current events, or anything else that is on their mind. In addition, teach your child active listening skills by modeling proper eye contact and body language and repeating back what the other person has said.
It is also important to provide opportunities for your child to practice their communication skills. This can be done through joining a sports team, playing music together, or taking part in drama or other performing arts activities. Helping your child to develop strong communication skills will help them flourish in school as well as adulthood.
Time Management
Parents can help their children develop time management skills by teaching them to make and stick to a schedule. Start with simple things like making a daily list of tasks to be completed and then help your child break down those tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. As your child gets older, you can teach them how to prioritize their tasks and how to use time-saving strategies such as batch cooking or setting a daily routine.
It is also important to provide opportunities for your child to practice time management skills. This can be done by setting a regular bedtime and wake-up time, having them help with meal planning and preparation, or involving them in after-school activities such as clubs or sports. Helping your child develop strong time management skills will help them in their life as well as in school. If your child has struggled or does struggle to keep up with homework or complete tasks, this is an especially important skill that could change their lives.
Executive Functioning
According to an article published by Harvard University, “Executive function and self-regulation skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully.” Children are bombarded with information and tasks every day, especially at school. As a parent, you can help your kids with their executive functioning by encouraging them to keep a planner, help them organize their thoughts, and practice self-control and discipline.
You can also provide opportunities for your child to practice their executive functioning skills. This can be done by having them help with household chores, such as making their bed or setting the table. As they get older, you can involve them in other activities that require organization and planning. Helping your child develop strong executive functioning skills will benefit them greatly in school as well as in their future career.
Metacognition
Metacognition is the awareness and understanding of one’s own thought processes. It is the ability to think about thinking. Parents can help their children develop metacognitive skills by teaching them how to be aware of their own thoughts and emotions and how they can impact their behavior.
You can also provide opportunities for your child to practice metacognition. This can be done through activities such as journaling, discussing current events, or reading together. This not only helps them regulate their thoughts, but it promotes a level of emotional maturity when they are able to work through their thoughts and feelings.
The bottom line is that it’s important for parents to instill confidence in their children from a young age. When a child is confident in themselves, they will ultimately be able to find greater success in school as well as in life.
“Where’s my (fill in the blank),” “I totally forgot (fill in the blank),” and “(fill in the blank) is stressing me out!”
Do these phrases sound uncomfortably familiar? Productivity and time management is an important part of everyday life, but we often don’t prioritize it as we should. Organization plays a huge role in success inside and outside the home—it affects every aspect of life and should be taken seriously.
Our founder Dr. Thayne interviewed a productivity and time management expert, Dawnie Williams, who shares tips on how to live an overall better, more productive life. Get a jump start on the new school year ahead and start implementing these insights and ideas today.
To understand the importance of productivity and time management, we must first understand where it came from. Individuals and groups throughout history have always strived for productivity, but it really started picking up when the manufacturing era started. Business owners wanted to find ways to cut down on time and production costs, which resulted in an increase in time management and productivity.
Although not everyone runs a business, families and individuals can benefit from implementing productivity and time management strategies in their daily lives. In this post, we’ll share the tips and strategies Dawnie and her family use for staying on top of household tasks, work, and family life. She believes that because time is limited, we want to do the best we can with the time we have.
Weekly Planning & Organization
When it comes to productivity, the best way to find success in your daily life is to start bigger by planning your weeks. Dawnie suggests sitting down with the family once a week to fill in the calendar to ensure that everyone is on the same page and no one misses important events during the week. It can be helpful to schedule work, family time, and downtime into the calendar as well.
She also mentions that you can stay busy all day without actually being productive. This is why it’s important for each member of the family to have a task list, categorize it, and prioritize it. Then when doing the tasks, make sure whatever you are doing gets 100% of your attention.
Daily Planning & Organization
Starting the week off right with organization and productivity sets you up for success when it comes to daily tasks and to-do lists. Dawnie’s personal rule while reading emails or prioritizing tasks is that if she can get the action item done in two minutes or less, she will take care of it immediately. If not, it goes onto the task list and is prioritized based on urgency and importance.
Once she makes it through her emails, Dawnie will move onto her task list that is prioritized by urgent, high, medium, and low. Urgent and high-priority tasks are completed that day, while medium and low-priority tasks are saved for later in the week. This method can be helpful at work as well as in the home – no matter what you need to get done, prioritizing your tasks can keep you from feeling overwhelmed and increase productivity.
Here are a few other tips Dawnie mentions for the entire family to stay organized and productive throughout the day:
Go to bed early
Wake up early
Exercise
Meal prep
Write lists (this can be done on your phone, in a notebook, on Monday.com – whatever works best for you)
Be present in whatever you are doing
Keeping Your Kids Productive & Organized
If you don’t have any of these things implemented into your daily and weekly routines yet, it’s going to take some time. Try not to get too frustrated with yourself or with your kids! The path to growth and change isn’t always linear, and some weeks will be better than others. Just know that by putting in the effort, you are setting an example for your kids and giving them a clearer path to success in adulthood.
Your kids will look to you as an example, so with this in mind, start making those small daily changes and the big changes will follow. Your kids will see how much more productive you are and they’ll want to implement the changes in their own lives. It will take some time and maybe some persuasion, but it will be so worth it in the end.
Dawnie also emphasizes how important it is to realize your kids are different from you. They’re still learning about themselves, their sleep schedules are different, and they can be more productive at different times. Productivity varies from person to person and there isn’t a formula that works for everyone. However, having a template your kids can go off of will be helpful as they are finding what works best for them.
Conclusion
If you haven’t previously focused on organization and productivity in your home, it can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. But don’t give up! As you start to implement productivity into your life, your kids will follow suit and it will benefit them throughout their entire lives.
If you would like to hear Dawnie and Tim’s in-depth conversation on this topic, listen to the Not By Chance podcast episode on the Apple Podcast app, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.
Transition Coach, Shari Murray and Dr. Tim Thayne recently recorded a podcast discussing the Power of Positive Assumed Intent. They felt this was an important topic because we are all guilty at one time or another of assuming the intent of others actions. As a parent it’s common to ascribe negative intent to your child’s behavior when they act a certain way. If you can shift your mindset from assuming negative intent to positive, your relationship with your child can grow in ways you never thought possible.
This way of thinking is especially prevalent in families with children who struggle with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and anxiety. For example, children who are on the spectrum or who have anxiety often have difficulty with change and like to stick to a routine. When changes do occur, they can fall into what looks like compulsive, repetitive, self-absorbed, or even oppositional behaviors—when in reality, they’re having a hard time deviating from their routine.
Dig Deeper
From a parent’s perspective, it’s easy to see some behaviors as oppositional and negative. We assume that the child is selfish, wants things to go their own way, and that they are making our life miserable on purpose. But what we don’t realize is that there is usually something deeper going on and it’s something we can absolutely change.
Shari pointed out: “It’s important to understand why we ascribe the negative intent so quickly. A simple reason for this is that it does look oppositional and purposeful on the surface and it’s easier to believe that’s the case. Once you know if your child is on the spectrum or has anxiety, it’s important to realize that these diagnoses are really about information-processing problems. They have a difficult time processing information from multiple places at once or that comes in too quickly, and this slower processing can lead to missed information.”
Like a Freeway Under Construction
Shari explained: “If multiple lanes are shut down and there’s a flood of cars coming, only a few cars are getting through at once as opposed to when all of the lanes are open. It’s slow and can be messy, and this is how many children who have these diagnoses process information and experience the world. This triggers a nervous system response and can create uncertainty within them, leading to behaviors that seem problematic.” This analogy about a freeway under construction is a great visual for parents to remember.
Shari relayed an experience about a teen she worked with who was on the spectrum. The teen had a test coming up and was going to make some flashcards, and as he was writing, his parents noticed that he was writing everything down in paragraphs. His mom noted that he wasn’t doing it the right way, and to try something different. Since he had done this on a previous exam and it went well, he didn’t want to change. It turned into a struggle of who knows more, and then a situation like that became a traffic jam. To the parent, it might seem like the child was just being defiant and stubborn—but it really had nothing to do with her.
Making the Correct Assumption
It is important to make the correct assumption, says Shari. “One question a parent might have is whether it’s ever right to assume problematic behavior. It’s almost always safe to make the assumption that the child’s intention is just to find some predictability because they need to make sense of their world. When we approach our kids assuming that their intention is pure, we interact with them in a much healthier and more productive way.”
She continues, “The three basic things to know when it comes to assumed intent are:
First, acknowledge it and validate that it’s about creating predictability and security.
Second, it’s important to not try to convince the child that there’s nothing to be anxious about. You have to respect that it’s very real for them.
And third, have patience and compassion.”
Doing these things will help build mutual trust and respect, resulting in a healthier relationship.
To hear more about this topic, listen to the Not by Chance Podcast episode “Assumed Intent” with Dr. Tim Thayne and Homeward Bound Coach Shari Murray found on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
