How often do you walk away from a challenging conversation with your teen feeling like your relationship is better than it was before the conversation started? If you are anything like most parents, it’s more likely that you walk away from those conversations feeling drained. If this sounds familiar Solution Talk will provide a breath of fresh air to your parenting.
So, what is Solution Talk?
Solution Talk is a communication framework that emphasizes solution-focused conversations, where the focus is shifted from dwelling on problems to actively seeking and implementing solutions. It is a departure from traditional problem-focused discussions that often lead to blame, criticism, and defensiveness. Instead, Solution Talk encourages a forward-moving approach, empowering both parents and teenagers to work together in finding mutually beneficial solutions.
“The power of Solution Talk lies in the understanding that what you focus on determines your outcomes. By placing your attention on solutions, you open doors to new possibilities and opportunities.”
– Dr. Tim Thayne
The benefits of Solution Talk for parents and teens are far-reaching. For parents, Solution Talk provides a means to effectively engage with their teenagers, gain deeper insights into their thoughts and perspectives, and strengthen the parent-child bond. By employing Solution Talk principles, parents can create a supportive environment that encourages open dialogue, understanding, and collaboration.
For teenagers, Solution Talk offers an opportunity to have their voices heard and respected. It empowers them to actively participate in problem-solving discussions, fostering a sense of ownership and responsibility for their decisions. Solution Talk allows teenagers to express their thoughts, concerns, and ideas without fear of judgment or dismissal, enhancing their self-esteem and confidence.
In the Solution Talk master course, we provide 11 short lessons that cover various aspects of Solution Talk. We explore the foundational principles, practical techniques, and common challenges associated with Solution Talk. Each lesson provides valuable insights, real-life examples, and actionable strategies to help you apply Solution Talk in your everyday interactions with your teenager.
By mastering Solution Talk, you will:
- Cultivate a more positive and constructive communication dynamic with your teenager.
- Deepen your understanding of your teenager’s perspectives, thoughts, and feelings.
- Improve conflict resolution skills and find win-win solutions.
- Foster mutual respect and strengthen the parent-teen relationship.
- Empower your teenager to take ownership of their actions and contribute to problem-solving discussions.
- Enhance your own listening, empathy, and problem-solving abilities as a parent.
- Create a supportive and collaborative family environment that encourages growth and development.
The Solution Talk master course equips parents and teens with the necessary tools and techniques to navigate challenging conversations, address conflicts, and build a foundation of understanding and collaboration.
Are you ready to dive into the Solution Talk Course and unlock the keys to effective parent-teen communication?
The Solution Talk master course will be available in the Trustyy app when it launches in the fall of 2023. Subscribe to our newsletter to stay informed about launch.
Think about a machine. What does it do? How does it perform efficiently? How is it assembled? Every machine is a little different with all the moving parts, but the one thing all machines have in common is that they all need grease to work properly or there’s potential for a lot of friction.
Grease keeps a machine running, just like trust keeps a relationship running. When a relationship has mutual trust, communication is easier; everything is easier and amazing things can happen. Without trust, a relationship is like a wheel without grease—it doesn’t work. Trust plays a fundamental role in every relationship.
Although trust is easy to break and difficult to get back once it’s broken, with time and effort it is possible to become realigned and create a relationship that is stronger than ever.
Here are a few practical tools and ideas for you to rebuild trust with your teen.
Consider Initiating the Trust
A lot of times, teens are in a position where they’re not confident enough or don’t have a strong desire to build trust. In this case, you as a parent will have to be the one to initiate it. Begin by evaluating your own shortcomings and start to repair the trust from your end. Identify your own choices and recognize that you might not be quite where you need to be for your teen to really trust you. Then, make a list with your co-parent about what is possibly tearing apart your relationship with your teen. Once you’ve done this, be straightforward and sincere in your proposal to rebuild the trust with your child.
Help Your Teen Understand Why Trust is Important
It’s powerful to let your teen know that the lack of trust between you has brought your relationship to a halt, just like a wheel would without grease. If you don’t do what you need to do to repair it, the components of the relationship are in serious danger of permanent damage. Find a good time to have this conversation and let them know of your sincere desire to strengthen your relationship. When they can see that you’re working to do your part and there is mutual understanding, it’ll be easier for them to open themselves up and build mutual trust again.
Don’t Force It
Trust is mutual—if one side isn’t ready to fully trust again, you can’t force it on them and make it happen right away. When you have the conversation, let your teen know that you don’t expect an answer right away and give them time to think about things. Their side of the story is just as valid as yours, so take the time to hear them out and understand where they’re coming from.
These initial steps are crucial when it comes to rebuilding trust with your teen, and following through with your commitment to change will be an important element as well. Think about the meaningful relationships in your life and think about what you can do to improve them—trust is a powerful thing, so go ahead and harness it.
If you would like to hear more about this topic, you can listen to the Not by Chance Podcast episode “Trust in a Relationship is Like Grease in a Wheel” with Dr. Tim Thayne on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Raising teenagers can be challenging, especially when they are dealing with mental health issues, substance abuse, or behavioral problems. During these difficult times, having a supportive community can make a world of difference. As the saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child,” and this is especially true when your child becomes a teenager.
The secret weapon to building a strong support system is to create an engaged home team that includes people from different aspects of your life. Here are three important tips for building a supportive home team for raising teenagers:
1. Find At Least One Team Member
The first thing you’ll want to do to build your home team community is to get at least one team member. Moving from zero to one team member can make a greater difference than growing from two to fifteen. It may seem daunting to find even one person you trust enough to confide in, but it’s so important to have someone in your corner. Once you have that one person, it becomes easier to find more.
When you’re looking for your first team member, look for someone who knows and cares about your child. It’s important for them to be invested in your child’s well-being, and you should be able to trust them completely. Having even one extra person in your corner can make a world of difference!
2. Be Vulnerable
It is important to be vulnerable with people you can trust. You don’t have to open up to just anyone though—it’s a difficult process and opening up to the wrong person could cause more harm than good in the long run.
Being vulnerable can be scary, but it will help you build stronger relationships with the people on your home team. They’ll be able to understand you and your child better, and they’ll be more willing and able to offer helpful advice when you need it. It can be difficult to open up about what’s going on in your life or in your child’s life, but it’s worth it to build those trusting relationships. When we’re vulnerable with others, they are more likely to be vulnerable with us, which ultimately cultivates a stronger sense of community.
3. Look for Opportunities to Serve
One of the best ways to build a supportive home team community is by looking for opportunities to serve on another’s home team. There are a few reasons for this. First, serving on someone else’s home team can help you understand people better on your own home team. You can know exactly where they’re coming from, how they might be feeling, and how you can better support them. Second, serving others always elevates your life. The time you spend serving others is time well spent, and you never know how you could impact someone’s life for the better.
People are wired to love. Without giving back and providing service to somebody else, our life is not very meaningful. So look for ways that you can help out on someone else’s home team. It will lighten your load, lighten their load, and elevate everyone involved.
A supportive home team
Everyone (including your child) deserves to have a strong support system that has their back no matter what. When your teenagers feel loved and supported even through their most difficult trials, they are more likely to become successful, productive members of society as adults.
Building a home team from scratch can seem intimidating at first. That’s totally normal—it’s a vulnerable position to be in, and you don’t want to feel like you’re putting anyone out by asking them to be a part of your tight-knit community. However, reaching out to others is the first and most important step you’ll take in the process. Just remember that you’re not alone in this, and there are people who want to help you. Trust us, we’ve been there too.
If you want to learn more about this topic, check out the Not by Chance Podcast on the Apple Podcast app, Spotify, or anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts.
Be the first to know when the app is released! Sign up to have early access to Trustyy, our upcoming app that will help you keep track of expectations, chores, tasks, goals, and rewards to support your teenager and build trust.
