Family values serve as the foundation for creating a home environment built on love, growth, and integrity. Thoughtfully developed family values can help guide decisions, align priorities, and foster meaningful relationships. Here is a simple, 5-step process parents can follow to identify and implement impactful family values:

1. Initial Brainstorming

In the first step, parents have an open discussion between themselves about the values most important to their family. This is a time for parents to align on priorities and hopes for their children.

2. Family Brainstorming

Next, hold a family meeting and invite each member to suggest values they believe could guide your family. Seek to understand all perspectives and identify themes. Narrow suggestions down to 3-5 core values.

3. Parental Alignment and Definition

Parents then reconvene to review suggestions and agree on 3-5 final family values. Clearly define what each value means for your unique family.

4. Cascading Values

Present the final values and definitions during another family meeting. Explain how they will guide your family’s choices and behaviors.

5. Implementation

Prominently display your values. Consistently reference them when making decisions and setting expectations. Reinforce the values through praise and gentle correction. Periodically discuss as a family. Establishing family values through this collaborative process can help cultivate an environment of trust, growth, and purpose.

For more guidance, we’ve created a list of 152 family values ideas to help with your brainstorming and defining process.

We also offer coaching and education services to help parents through the process. Sign up for Coaching.

How often do you walk away from a challenging conversation with your teen feeling like your relationship is better than it was before the conversation started? If you are anything like most parents, it’s more likely that you walk away from those conversations feeling drained. If this sounds familiar Solution Talk will provide a breath of fresh air to your parenting.

So, what is Solution Talk?

Solution Talk is a communication framework that emphasizes solution-focused conversations, where the focus is shifted from dwelling on problems to actively seeking and implementing solutions. It is a departure from traditional problem-focused discussions that often lead to blame, criticism, and defensiveness. Instead, Solution Talk encourages a forward-moving approach, empowering both parents and teenagers to work together in finding mutually beneficial solutions.

“The power of Solution Talk lies in the understanding that what you focus on determines your outcomes. By placing your attention on solutions, you open doors to new possibilities and opportunities.”

– Dr. Tim Thayne

The benefits of Solution Talk for parents and teens are far-reaching. For parents, Solution Talk provides a means to effectively engage with their teenagers, gain deeper insights into their thoughts and perspectives, and strengthen the parent-child bond. By employing Solution Talk principles, parents can create a supportive environment that encourages open dialogue, understanding, and collaboration.

For teenagers, Solution Talk offers an opportunity to have their voices heard and respected. It empowers them to actively participate in problem-solving discussions, fostering a sense of ownership and responsibility for their decisions. Solution Talk allows teenagers to express their thoughts, concerns, and ideas without fear of judgment or dismissal, enhancing their self-esteem and confidence.

In the Solution Talk master course, we provide 11 short lessons that cover various aspects of Solution Talk. We explore the foundational principles, practical techniques, and common challenges associated with Solution Talk. Each lesson provides valuable insights, real-life examples, and actionable strategies to help you apply Solution Talk in your everyday interactions with your teenager.

By mastering Solution Talk, you will:

1. Cultivate a more positive and constructive communication dynamic with your teenager.
2. Deepen your understanding of your teenager’s perspectives, thoughts, and feelings.
3. Improve conflict resolution skills and find win-win solutions.
4. Foster mutual respect and strengthen the parent-teen relationship.
5. Empower your teenager to take ownership of their actions and contribute to problem-solving discussions.
6. Enhance your own listening, empathy, and problem-solving abilities as a parent.
7. Create a supportive and collaborative family environment that encourages growth and development.

The Solution Talk master course equips parents and teens with the necessary tools and techniques to navigate challenging conversations, address conflicts, and build a foundation of understanding and collaboration.

Are you ready to dive into the Solution Talk Course and unlock the keys to effective parent-teen communication?

The Solution Talk master course will be available in the Trustyy app when it launches in the fall of 2023. Subscribe to our newsletter to stay informed about launch.

“Where’s my (fill in the blank),”  “I totally forgot (fill in the blank),” and “(fill in the blank) is stressing me out!”

Do these phrases sound uncomfortably familiar?  Productivity and time management is an important part of everyday life, but we often don’t prioritize it as we should. Organization plays a huge role in success inside and outside the home—it affects every aspect of life and should be taken seriously.

Our founder Dr. Thayne interviewed a productivity and time management expert, Dawnie Williams, who shares tips on how to live an overall better, more productive life. Get a jump start on the new school year ahead and start implementing these insights and ideas today.

To understand the importance of productivity and time management, we must first understand where it came from. Individuals and groups throughout history have always strived for productivity, but it really started picking up when the manufacturing era started. Business owners wanted to find ways to cut down on time and production costs, which resulted in an increase in time management and productivity.

Although not everyone runs a business, families and individuals can benefit from implementing productivity and time management strategies in their daily lives. In this post, we’ll share the tips and strategies Dawnie and her family use for staying on top of household tasks, work, and family life. She believes that because time is limited, we want to do the best we can with the time we have.

Weekly Planning & Organization 

When it comes to productivity, the best way to find success in your daily life is to start bigger by planning your weeks. Dawnie suggests sitting down with the family once a week to fill in the calendar to ensure that everyone is on the same page and no one misses important events during the week. It can be helpful to schedule work, family time, and downtime into the calendar as well.

She also mentions that you can stay busy all day without actually being productive. This is why it’s important for each member of the family to have a task list, categorize it, and prioritize it. Then when doing the tasks, make sure whatever you are doing gets 100% of your attention.

Daily Planning & Organization 

Starting the week off right with organization and productivity sets you up for success when it comes to daily tasks and to-do lists. Dawnie’s personal rule while reading emails or prioritizing tasks is that if she can get the action item done in two minutes or less, she will take care of it immediately. If not, it goes onto the task list and is prioritized based on urgency and importance.

Once she makes it through her emails, Dawnie will move onto her task list that is prioritized by urgent, high, medium, and low. Urgent and high-priority tasks are completed that day, while medium and low-priority tasks are saved for later in the week. This method can be helpful at work as well as in the home – no matter what you need to get done, prioritizing your tasks can keep you from feeling overwhelmed and increase productivity.

Here are a few other tips Dawnie mentions for the entire family to stay organized and productive throughout the day:

• Go to bed early
• Wake up early
• Exercise
• Meal prep
• Write lists (this can be done on your phone, in a notebook, on Monday.com – whatever works best for you)
• Be present in whatever you are doing

Keeping Your Kids Productive & Organized 

If you don’t have any of these things implemented into your daily and weekly routines yet, it’s going to take some time. Try not to get too frustrated with yourself or with your kids! The path to growth and change isn’t always linear, and some weeks will be better than others. Just know that by putting in the effort, you are setting an example for your kids and giving them a clearer path to success in adulthood.

Your kids will look to you as an example, so with this in mind, start making those small daily changes and the big changes will follow. Your kids will see how much more productive you are and they’ll want to implement the changes in their own lives. It will take some time and maybe some persuasion, but it will be so worth it in the end.

Dawnie also emphasizes how important it is to realize your kids are different from you. They’re still learning about themselves, their sleep schedules are different, and they can be more productive at different times. Productivity varies from person to person and there isn’t a formula that works for everyone. However, having a template your kids can go off of will be helpful as they are finding what works best for them.

Conclusion

If you haven’t previously focused on organization and productivity in your home, it can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. But don’t give up! As you start to implement productivity into your life, your kids will follow suit and it will benefit them throughout their entire lives.

If you would like to hear Dawnie and Tim’s in-depth conversation on this topic, listen to the Not By Chance podcast episode on the Apple Podcast app, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

Social media has its benefits, including rallying people around good causes and allowing individuals to connect with others and share experiences. However, it also has its downsides, such as creating tension within relationships, leading to inauthentic relationships, and having a dangerous impact on teenagers’ mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being. In this blog post, we’ll explore the impact of social media on teenagers and how parents can help them use it effectively and responsibly. We interviewed Dr. Ryan Anderson, who holds a Ph.D. in medical and family therapy, about social media and its effects on young people.  We will discuss how parents can guide their teens to develop healthy social media habits and set them up for success in adulthood.

Dr. Anderson earned a Master’s degree in marriage and family therapy, a PhD in medical and family therapy, and completed his internship at the Duke Comprehensive Cancer Center. He has also worked as a wilderness therapist, taught college courses to first-year med students, and is involved in community outreach. Aside from these accomplishments, Dr. Anderson worked in video game design and software development. His interest in the digital world combined with his professional career in the mental health field led him to study their correlation.

Social Media: Pros & Cons

When you think of social media, you might think of the negativity that comes with it. While there are plenty of cons, there are also plenty of pros that people tend to overlook. Here are some of the positive and negative sides of social media, according to Dr. Anderson:

Pros of Social Media:

• Can be a force for good in society.
• Allows individuals to rally around good causes.
• Spread awareness of events, movements, and causes.
• It’s a space of collaboration where people can share experiences.
• We can learn from others’ unique experiences.
• Makes it easier to stay in touch with family and friends.

Cons of Social Media:

• It can create tension within relationships (following/not following).
• Give/take isn’t symmetrical—some people consume while some don’t, which leads to inauthentic relationships.
• Social media can make you think you know someone intimately when in reality, you only understand that person based on their social media highlight reel.
• It can be dangerous mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
• Teens can lose their sense of worth and identity when they become too invested in social media.

Parents and Social Media: What You Need to Know

As a parent you want to protect your child, but there are many real dangers on social media, and it can be tempting to ban it altogether. It’s also hard to keep up with all of the updates, new apps, and trends. Your teen tells you TikTok is just for singing and dancing—but is that the only way people use it? Some parents will monitor their teens’ social media activity, while others shy away from it in the name of privacy.

Teaching your teenagers how to use social media correctly will help them better manage it in their everyday lives, especially when they reach adulthood. It is part of life, and when you set boundaries from the beginning and stick to them, you set your teens up for success. Teaching healthy social media habits includes having productive conversations when you start seeing negative effects or patterns.

Here are a few discussion topics Dr. Anderson suggests to guide your conversations about social media:

You are the product

Social media algorithms know you very well. They know your interests, scrolling habits, and even moods, and they’ll do everything to keep you on the app. Being aware of this can help teens know what is happening and understand why limiting screen time is vital to their mental health.

Catfishing

Catfishing occurs when someone pretends to be another person on social media. They could pose as teens to connect with your children when they could be predators or scammers. Have these discussions with your kids and make sure they only connect with people they know personally. And if something feels off, it probably is. Catfish can also pose as people your children know in real life.

You are the target

Not all scammers and predators are catfish, but they are good at what they do. Scammers target the elderly because they are vulnerable, and they target teens for the opposite reason—they think they’re invincible and could never fall for a scam. Helping your teens recognize when something feels wrong can give them the knowledge they need to stay safe.

Social media is permanent

Help your teens understand that once their content has been posted or sent, it belongs to the social media platform. There is no getting it back, and even if it disappears or gets deleted, it lives on in a database that could be hacked, leaked, or even sold. The same goes for Snapchat, even though the photos “disappear.”

Keeping Teens Safe on Social Media

Social media does have a lot of pros, even though there are some scary and concerning aspects. Working with your kids and teaching them how to use social media positively will let them experience the benefits and set them up for success when they reach adulthood.

Dr. Anderson uses the analogy of teaching a teenager how to drive. You wouldn’t just hand them the keys and say “Don’t crash,” so why would you download Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok to their phone and say “Don’t use this the wrong way”? Just like your teen needs guidance, lessons, and practice driving a car, they need the same when they’re learning to use social media.

When you help your teen understand the dangers of social media and how to overcome them, they’ll understand how to have a positive experience overall.

Developing a Healthy Relationship with Social Media

Fostering and developing healthy social media habits takes time, practice, trial, error, and self-awareness. Here are a few suggestions about how to start building that healthy relationship so you can help your teens do the same:

• Turn social media notifications off—it can wait.
• Don’t be on every platform—the more you let in, the more you have to process.
• Have a time and place for social media—it shouldn’t be available 24/7.
• Take breaks—when you start to feel a shift in your mental health, it’s time to unplug.
• Be careful and know the potential risks.
• Research every app thoroughly before downloading it.

Social media has its pros and cons, but when you teach your teenagers how to navigate it correctly and how to create healthy habits, you can set them up for success in the future.

If you would like to hear more about this topic, listen to the Not by Chance podcast episode “Screen Savvy with Dr. Ryan Anderson” on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Eating disorders are some of the deadliest mental illnesses, and many teens struggle daily with this issue. However, they often go unnoticed and undetected because of the silence and secrecy surrounding them. Eating disorders can be associated with a lot of shame, and those affected are typically very good at hiding it—even from those closest to them.

Because of this, it’s important to be able to recognize the early signs of eating disorders and know how to help your teen when you suspect that something is wrong. One of the hallmarks of an eating disorder is shame. When a person gets into an eating disorder, they start to have unhealthy thoughts and believe that they’re bad, unwanted, fat, ugly, worthless, and all-around terrible. This couldn’t be further from the truth, but the first thing that will help you help your loved one is to understand how they are feeling.

What to Watch For

Hypersensitivity and Perfectionistic Tendencies

When your teen is struggling with an eating disorder, you may notice that they’re more sensitive to comments or criticism, and they tend to develop perfectionistic tendencies. It might feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them—you could say the same thing on two different days and get two completely different reactions. It can feel a little like an emotional rollercoaster, so if you notice that your teen is acting this way, you’ll want to dig a little deeper and see what the issue is.

Heightened Awareness of Food or Obsession Over Food

Another early sign of an eating disorder is a new obsession over food. You might notice that your teen is more concerned with reading labels, counting calories, becoming pickier, trying out new diets, or suddenly placing dietary restrictions on themselves by going vegan or vegetarian. These aren’t always bad things, but you’ll want to watch for them if you suspect that your teen is developing an eating disorder.

Withdrawing From Family, Friends, or Hobbies

As mentioned earlier, eating disorders thrive in secrecy and solitude. Teens who develop eating disorders will often withdraw from friends and family as well as activities that they would typically enjoy. Heightened anxiety around food and social events is a huge reason teens with eating disorders tend to isolate themselves. It is easier for them to have control over their food habits when they are alone.

How to Help

Find the Deeper Issue

Eating disorders typically don’t happen overnight. There are multiple reasons teens develop this type of mental illness, and it’s important as a parent that you dig deep and really try to understand your child. Instead of trying to fix the problem right off the bat, understand that they are in a vulnerable state. They’re worried about what people think of them, they’re afraid of being judged, and they feel broken. Letting them know that you’re there to understand and help will go a long way.

Don’t Focus on Body Talk

Saying things about their body (positive or negative) can be harmful when your teen is dealing with an eating disorder. Avoid talking negatively because they’ll think that their body is a problem that needs to be fixed. On the other hand, saying things like “you look so healthy” can make them think they look fat, or “you look great” can make them think that they should continue with their eating habits. Body talk is usually very triggering for someone with an eating disorder, so focus on complimenting all of the other wonderful things about your teen.

See Them As More Than Their Eating Disorder and Encourage Them to Get Help

The most important thing you can do is realize that your teen is not their eating disorder, and they can overcome it. When you really understand where they’re coming from, they will feel comfortable talking to you about it and you can help them get help through therapy and treatment.

To learn more, listen to our Not by Chance Podcast episode “Eating Disorders and Early Intervention,” where we sat down with eating disorder expert Mike Gurr and discussed the topic in-depth. You can find us on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

Everyone deals with stress from time to time—it’s perfectly normal. In fact, it helps us progress in life. If you don’t experience at least a little bit of stress, you should probably check your pulse because you might be dead. However, stress and overwhelm start to get unhealthy when there’s too much of it and you are unable to cope.

When things get too overwhelming, it’s important to know how to recognize those feelings, how to keep a healthy level of stress in your daily life and do what you need to do to overcome them. Here are a few things you can do to better your life and stop feeling overwhelmed.

1. Know What’s Triggering Your Stress

When you’re feeling stressed to the point of overwhelm, the first thing you need to do is figure out exactly what is causing it. It’s really important that you know where your stress is coming from. Feeling stressed without knowing why is a major cause of overwhelm, and it’s harder to overcome it if you can’t pinpoint why it’s happening. People tend to get stuck in that place.

2. Learn to Manage Your Emotions in the Midst of Change

Change can be a huge trigger of stress and anxiety. For example, when teens first enter the treatment setting, they may be pulled out of their homes and forced to adapt to a new “normal.” They don’t have the ability to fall back on their escapes, like Netflix, movies, gaming addictions, or other things. When these escapes are taken away, they can really learn to manage their emotions and address the issue the right way.

One great way to learn how to manage emotions is to start noticing the intrusive thoughts and worries that come to your mind. Awareness is the first step, and being intentional when quieting your mind can make a huge difference as you learn to cope with stress. When you have a clear mind, it is easier to complete your tasks and tackle your issues one by one, which reduces stress and overwhelm.

3. Create a Plan to Overcome

One misconception surrounding stress and overwhelm is that you have to overcome it all at once. Start to turn the tide and better your life by doing a number of small things every day. Small but impactful things you can do to overcome stress are: become aware of your triggers, learn how to manage your emotions, and find someone you love and trust to talk with.

Just like we all have stress in our lives, we have the strength to overcome it and stop feeling overwhelmed. When you figure out what’s important in your life and learn how to manage your emotions, you can have the power to let go of what doesn’t matter to you and prioritize what does. Hold onto hope and your life will continually get better.

To learn more, listen to our Not by Chance Podcast episode “Overcoming Overwhelm” on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

Communication is one of the most important aspects of life. It allows for connection on every level. In order to be successful in any relationship, it’s important to be able to communicate well. The following suggestions can help to minimize or eliminate the misunderstandings, contention, and apathy that can often derail our family conversations.

Be a Listener First

When it comes to understanding one another, language is obviously a key factor in healthy communication, but the one truth we often miss is that the power position in a conversation is starting as the listener.

Winston Churchill said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” A lot of us tend to want the speaker role first. One reason is that we think we have something important to say, but what you have to say won’t matter if you don’t understand what the other person’s ideas or feelings are or how to respond to them.

Being the listener first and the speaker second will allow you to empathize, modify how you feel if necessary, and approach the conversation in the healthiest way possible. This will give you an advantage when it is your turn to speak. You’ll be able to summarize what was said so it’s clear to them that you understand, even if you don’t completely agree with them. It will also help them realize that you see their perspective and are ready to have a healthy, mature conversation about it.

Be Self-Aware in Conversations (verbally and non-verbally)

The next thing you’ll want to do is have enough self-awareness to know the boundaries in the situation and to be able to tell the difference between your feelings, the other person’s feelings, and facts. When you are able to separate those things from each other, you can speak responsibly and convey your feelings in a way that can be accepted by the other person when they’re in the listening position. If you go ahead and state everything as fact, the listener can’t be fully present because they can’t accept that what you’re saying is a universal truth.

When you’re the speaker, avoid personal attacks, elevating your voice, and letting your body language make you look like you’re disinterested. These are all things that shut down communication, which is the opposite of what you want to do. Communication is verbal and non-verbal, so you could be sending non-verbal messages that make you difficult to listen to without even knowing it.

Balance is key

The balance between listening and speaking is important in communication, and when you have a healthy amount of both, you can facilitate great, productive conversations.

If you would like to learn more about listening and speaking in regards to communication, you can find our two-part episode of the Not by Chance Podcast on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

Transition Coach, Shari Murray and Dr. Tim Thayne recently recorded a podcast discussing the Power of Positive Assumed Intent. They felt this was an important topic because we are all guilty at one time or another of assuming the intent of others actions. As a parent it’s common to ascribe negative intent to your child’s behavior when they act a certain way. If you can shift your mindset from assuming negative intent to positive, your relationship with your child can grow in ways you never thought possible.

This way of thinking is especially prevalent in families with children who struggle with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and anxiety. For example, children who are on the spectrum or who have anxiety often have difficulty with change and like to stick to a routine. When changes do occur, they can fall into what looks like compulsive, repetitive, self-absorbed, or even oppositional behaviors—when in reality, they’re having a hard time deviating from their routine.

Dig Deeper

From a parent’s perspective, it’s easy to see some behaviors as oppositional and negative. We assume that the child is selfish, wants things to go their own way, and that they are making our life miserable on purpose. But what we don’t realize is that there is usually something deeper going on and it’s something we can absolutely change.

Shari pointed out: “It’s important to understand why we ascribe the negative intent so quickly. A simple reason for this is that it does look oppositional and purposeful on the surface and it’s easier to believe that’s the case. Once you know if your child is on the spectrum or has anxiety, it’s important to realize that these diagnoses are really about information-processing problems. They have a difficult time processing information from multiple places at once or that comes in too quickly, and this slower processing can lead to missed information.”

Like a Freeway Under Construction

Shari explained: “If multiple lanes are shut down and there’s a flood of cars coming, only a few cars are getting through at once as opposed to when all of the lanes are open. It’s slow and can be messy, and this is how many children who have these diagnoses process information and experience the world. This triggers a nervous system response and can create uncertainty within them, leading to behaviors that seem problematic.” This analogy about a freeway under construction is a great visual for parents to remember.

Shari relayed an experience about a teen she worked with who was on the spectrum. The teen had a test coming up and was going to make some flashcards, and as he was writing, his parents noticed that he was writing everything down in paragraphs. His mom noted that he wasn’t doing it the right way, and to try something different. Since he had done this on a previous exam and it went well, he didn’t want to change. It turned into a struggle of who knows more, and then a situation like that became a traffic jam. To the parent, it might seem like the child was just being defiant and stubborn—but it really had nothing to do with her.

Making the Correct Assumption

It is important to make the correct assumption, says Shari. “One question a parent might have is whether it’s ever right to assume problematic behavior. It’s almost always safe to make the assumption that the child’s intention is just to find some predictability because they need to make sense of their world. When we approach our kids assuming that their intention is pure, we interact with them in a much healthier and more productive way.”

She continues, “The three basic things to know when it comes to assumed intent are:

First, acknowledge it and validate that it’s about creating predictability and security.

Second, it’s important to not try to convince the child that there’s nothing to be anxious about. You have to respect that it’s very real for them.

And third, have patience and compassion.”

Doing these things will help build mutual trust and respect, resulting in a healthier relationship.

To hear more about this topic, listen to the Not by Chance Podcast episode “Assumed Intent” with Dr. Tim Thayne and Homeward Bound Coach Shari Murray found on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

Gardening is a wonderful activity that not only provides fresh produce but also benefits our overall well-being. Studies have shown that caring for plants and soil can increase confidence, gratitude, responsibility, and compassion. At Grow Life, founder Karl Ebeling has witnessed firsthand the positive impact of gardening on foster children. In this blog post, we’ll explore how gardening can help individuals and families improve their mental health and create stronger connections.

Here are five therapeutic benefits of gardening:

1. It Can Reduce Anxious Thoughts and Feelings

Gardening is a great way to relax your mind and help reduce stress and anxiety. According to Healthline, “Studies have found gardening and horticultural therapy can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve attention, interrupt harmful ruminations…lower cortisol [stress hormone], [and] increase overall life satisfaction.”

Caring for a garden provides a sense of responsibility, an opportunity to work with your hands, and something to look forward to every day that will provide something great down the road. It is also a grounding experience that connects you with the earth—which is a classic technique for calming anxiety. When combined with therapy or other doctor-recommended necessary treatments, gardening can be a game-changer for people who suffer from anxiety or depression.

2. It Promotes Connection to the Earth

Connecting with the earth is crucial for anyone, and gardening is one of the best ways to get that connection. When you’re gardening, you’re often on your hands and knees touching the dirt and plants. You connect with the earth on a literal level, and it can be a very healing and grounding experience.

3. It Fosters Connection and Healthy Relationships

Gardening in a group setting is even better than gardening alone. If you have a family, spouse, or group of friends, getting together to plant and care for a garden will strengthen your relationships and foster meaningful connections.

Karl recalls bringing his son to help a family member get their yard ready for a wedding reception. Because of his software development career, Karl’s son worked on a computer every day and struggled with anxious feelings. There were many family members at the house helping with the yard work, and at the end of the day, he expressed that he felt uplifted.

Karl also shared a story about growing up in Pennsylvania, where he and a group of friends grew and sold produce. He says, “I will never forget the feeling that I had. We had comradery. We were a team. And I really believe we’re lacking that in our society today.”

4. It Instills a Love of Nature

We live on a beautiful planet, but sometimes we fail to appreciate or recognize it. With all of the distractions we face, we can go days without taking a moment to watch a beautiful sunset or take a deep breath of fresh air.

When you are outside working in the garden and planting new life, you gain a new appreciation for the earth and what it provides. Staying connected to nature is also one of the best ways to stay grounded, which can help with various problems or difficulties.

5. It Helps People Slow Down and Reduce Screen Time

Life is fast-paced. Kids and teenagers have demanding schedules between dance, sports, AP classes, homework, lessons, and other extracurricular activities, and parents are responsible for getting everyone where they need to go. We go in ten different directions at all times, and it can be overwhelming. And when we do have a few seconds of free time, most of our attention is directed to our phones—whether it’s social media, answering emails, or watching funny videos.

When you are working in the garden, everyday distractions take a back seat—giving you the chance to slow down. Take a break from the real and online world. It is good for the soul, and connecting with the earth is always a good idea.

Whether you have a big backyard or a tiny apartment, you can still benefit from a garden. You can find community gardens, hang planters in your house, put some small pots on your back porch, or build planter boxes in your yard. The opportunities really are endless, and even when you start small, you will see benefits.

If you want to learn more, listen to the episode “The Therapeutic Effects of Gardening” on the Not by Chance Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

In today’s busy world, it’s hard to picture sitting down together as a family and having dinner every night. There are sports games to attend, practices to get to and homework to do. In the midst of it all, the most important things can easily take a back seat.

I sat down and discussed family meal time with Christine Van Wagenen who has studied its importance for years. Christine agrees that preparing meals and aligning schedules can quickly become overwhelming. While it might be tempting to fall into the habit of everyone eating when their schedules permit, she says that sitting down and eating a meal together as a family will be far more beneficial in the long run.

Here are four reasons why meal time matters, and three ways you can make it work for your family.

Why Meal Time Matters

The Ministry of Hospitality

Of course, there are more ways to serve than by simply cooking a meal, but Christine says it’s one of the best ways to provide hospitality and show that you care about the individuals you’re serving. Your attitude toward cooking will affect how often your family gathers together and how you serve one another.

Whether it’s for your family or a neighbor in need, cooking dinner for someone promotes love, service, and connection. This can also set an example for your children as they grow up and have opportunities to provide service to the people around them.

Connection

When families sit around the table together without distractions, it creates a safe space for everyone to be themselves. For example, maybe one of your kids is having a difficult time in school and they haven’t had the opportunity or desire to talk about it. This time together can help them feel comfortable to open up, and everyone can contribute love, support, and help, making the family bond stronger than before.

Having a set time to be together every day helps family members move past superficial relationships with one another. Christine emphasized that we need to be careful what tone we set for this time together. She said “Meal time is not a time that you are going to discipline, it is not a time to motivate someone to do something, [Family members] want to eat, they want to feel comfort and pleasure. Save those [other] things for a separate time.” She recommends setting aside meal time as a place for lighthearted conversations and laughs as well as deep discussions and sharing hardships.

The Research Backs it Up

Christine has studied the importance of family dinner for years and she has found that there is research to back it up. According to a study conducted by Columbia University, “Teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades in school and much less likely to have substance abuse problems.”

More specifically, the study found that these teenagers were “42% less likely to drink alcohol, 59% less likely to smoke cigarettes, and 66% less likely to try marijuana. … The survey also found that frequent family dinners were associated with better school performance, with teens 40% more likely to get As and Bs.” These significant statistics show that family dinners can have an impact inside and outside of the home.

There’s a Domino Effect

There’s always a learning curve when you start something new, but making positive changes often comes with a positive domino effect. It all starts with good food. Christine recommends finding something that everyone likes to eat. You’ll probably have a hard time getting everyone together at first, and you might even get some complaints. However, if you start with good food, the rest will follow.

Tips for Making Meal Time Work

Get the Kids Involved

If you can get your kids on board with the idea of family dinner, making the habit will be so much easier. Let them help choose meals, prep meals, or even set the table. If you have teenagers, teach them how to cook so they can develop that life skill and carry it with them into adulthood. When the kids contribute and feel included, they’ll be more likely to get excited about it.

Set a Schedule

Aligning busy schedules can seem impossible, but the benefits of eating together will outweigh the difficulties. Set a schedule and let everyone know what time you’ll be eating so they can be there. Whether you post it on the fridge or send it in the group text, planning and sticking to the schedule will help you make those family dinners happen.

Find What Works For You

If the pressure of having family dinner seems like too much, you can modify and do what works best for you and your family. “Family dinner” doesn’t even have to be dinner—it can be breakfast or lunch too. As long as you’re sitting down all together to have a meal without distractions, you’ll get the same benefits.

If you’re just starting and feeling overwhelmed, plan one or two days per week at first. As it becomes more natural and you start building the habit, add one or two more days. You want to build a habit that lasts, so easing into it might be the best way to go for your family.

No matter how you incorporate family dinners into your weekly routine, everyone in your family will reap the amazing benefits. To hear more about our discussion about family dinner, listen to our episode of Not By Chance.